Police Squad - from the Encyclopedia of Wildlife

Police are an extremely social animal. They exist as a social unit called a squad. Police travel and hunt in a group and perform almost all other activities in the company of fellow police.

The squad, the basic unit of police social life, is usually a tight group. It is made up of people related to each other by ties of affection and mutual aid. The core of a squad is a mated pair of police - usually two adult males although occasionally a female adult is allowed to join a hunt.

The other members of the squad are their associates: young ones ranging in age from rookies to constables and older politically astute one who remain always in the den, except during award and mating seasons, feeding off spoils of hunts conducted by younger members.

Squad sizes vary, most have 6 or 7 members, although some may include as many as 15. The squad size depends on many variables including the current numbers of the police population, the abundance of criminals, and social factors within the police squad.

Within each squad is an elaborate hierarchy. It may consist of a single pair, the Alpha male and his deputy, a lower group consisting of adults, each with its own ranking, a group of outcasts, and a group of immature police on their way up. Some of the younger police of the squad may leave to find vacant territory or to wash squad cars or polish Strathcona boots.

Individual police in a squad play different roles in relation to the others in the group. The Alpha male is the leader of the squad. (Alpha is the first letter in the Greek alphabet.) The alpha male is often the oldest member of the squad with the most experience in hunting, defending territory, and other important activities.

The other squad members respect his positions and follow his leadership in almost all things. The alpha police is usually the one to make decisions for the squad when the group should go out to hunt or move from one place to another or circle around to cover hindquarters left exposed.

The other squad members all have positions in the hierarchy inferior to those of the alpha male. The young adult police have their own special roles under the leadership. Some of them may be able to "boss around," or dominate, their sisters and brothers because they have established themselves as superior in some way. This superiority might be physical-size or greater strength - or it can be based on personality. Dominant police in the squad usually have more aggressive and forceful personalities than their associates of the same age.

Probationary pups - police under one year in the squad - do not occupy permanent positions within the hierarchy. They take orders from all of their associates, but their relationships with each other change frequently. During their play and other activities, they are constantly testing one another to find out who will eventually be "top police" in their age group.

Relationships among those that live close together in groups are often very complicated, like members of a police squad. Studies of police and police squads have shown that many complex rules of behavior seem to govern the way that the police relate to each other. The methods that police use to communicate with fellow squad members are also quite elaborate - see Police Communication.

The BC Government is considering a proposal to cull or emasculate police in the province. A draft management plan has been prepared. The Canadian police coalition strongly opposes the plan and is working against it. Part of their strategy may be to focus the hunt on certain undesirable prey, such as Solicitor Generals.


Hinterland who's who.

But the culture of cops is one I would sooooo love to see wiped out. LOL.

It's a fact: 100% of all the people who ate carrots in 1850, are dead.