I have said it before. I am a walkin' talkin' eating disorder.
I started purging and crash dieting at the age of 12. Fast forward a few years, and I found myself a size 22. At the moment I am a much smaller size, purely a reaction to stress. Just could not eat. Period.
So, I can give you the skinny, as it were, on how people act and react to my various sizes, it's an interesting thing actually.
When I was a larger lady, I always dressed fairly well, hair and makeup always done. Despite that, it became common to be treated as invisible. Lots of people offer dieting advice too, unasked for and unwanted and not always in a kindly way. But that is always a given, the holier than thou art types think they need to save you from yourself.
These last few months however have opened up a new can of worms. Because my clothes from as recent as May no longer fit, I have been scrounging through the thrifts and the second hand shops to gather a new wardrobe. My job involves bleach for sanitizing dishes, so I never wear "new" things anyway. (and lets face it, I dont have the money to shop retail) It's actually kind of fun, because I now need a size 0-2 I am finding lots of cool things. The average sizes are usually gone at the used clothing places.
When I get a pair of nice jeans for $3.75, that probably retailed for over $100.00, its a good day! (My shopping therapy is a cheap thing at least.) During my shopping trips, the reactions from people I know and even those I have never met in my life are the most amusing part. "You look ill" "Please eat something" "people like you make me sick" (meaning they assume I have never had any weight issues)
At first it really hurt, my inner body image is always as a large lady. Then it started to piss me off, so I have been making sure I note who says what, to study it.
Average sized women seem ok with my current size. Smaller women confide in me, how hard it is to find things to wear. Larger women (and not all of them, BTW, just to be remarkably clear) make the most hurtful comments.
One who works at a local thrift goes out of her way to tell me how horrible she thinks I look. I have been avoiding that place if she is there. Is any of this necessary? I was always taught that if you had nothing good to say, to STFU. What is this need to tell larger ladies, and as I recently found out, even thinner ones, how they should look? I would never presume to do that.
I do look for the positives in people, and will offer a compliment on that, but never will that have anything to do with weight, body size or shape.
Unless I know that the person is trying to lose/gain weight, then I can provide a very fine support comment! Those topics should be like politics and religion. Nunya bizness. So please, the next time you feel the urge to take it upon yourself to dispense a non compliment or "advice" that has not been asked for?
STFU. It's really just that simple.